See me through another day cause the devils calling
I need a place to hide away, from the storm
When the waters rising, when the sun don’t shine
I need a place to hide away and some peace tonight
Found out life was complicated, more grey and black and white
Sometimes I wanna follow Jesus but sometimes he’s hard to find
I never care about believing till I see I lost my way
And then my troubles all around me and all that I can say is,
See me through another day cause the devils calling
I need a place to hide away from the storm
Ben Rector

i haven’t been the best at these. just look at my track record. falling throughs, failures, friendships ended, and people affected. this time is different though. i’m going to do it right. with Christ in mind, what can go wrong? right? stepping up my game and keeping Him in mind is main arsenal. it’s my main decree. i’m not going to let have my fallen condition screw this up. 

You were made in the image of God. Let that sink in and shut down the haters.
Louie Giglio

behind the city lights.

behind the city lights, behind the facade of the skyline, behind times square, behind central park, behind the battery lies a city, a war zone, a land with so much potential for the Kingdom. behind the hustle and bustle of the subway is a city yearning for hope, for a second chance. 

I told myself, ever since I started warming up to the South that I would never want to go back to the North. I would never want to go back to the place that caused me & my family so much pain. Don’t get me wrong, I loved the lights, I loved the action, heck- I even loved the pollution; but, inside, I hated it. I hated all of it. I hated all of the emotions that stirred inside the pit of my soul. I hated everything that it stood for. I hated living there. I masked all of my true emotions for the last four years I lived there. Without going into too much detail, It was a terrible place, and I promised myself I’d never come back. 

Fast forward 4 years later, and I find myself here in Raleigh looking back at a time of my life that was full of despair, yet praising God that He put me through it. Without all those problems, without the constant fighting at home, without the countless nights of no sleep, and running away from home, I wouldn’t be where I am right now. I wouldn’t have had the faith that could move mountains. I stopped believing in God when I was younger. I mean, how could you believe in a God that allowed my family to be torn apart to the point of no repair? To the point of divorce, abuse, and constant fear.

Now, let me tell you, how that all changed. 

We moved away. Away from the City that caused the heartache, that caused me to lose my faith. We moved to the middle of nowhere North Carolina. It was then I started to see that God was real. He restored my parents marriage to the point where you would have never thought that all the pain was there in the first place. He restored their love, and their passion. There is no other way to describe the complete 180 in the lives of my parents apart from the Holy Spirit. There is no other way. It was then when I started seeing how my mother, albeit how hurt she was, forgave my father and gave him the grace to start over. Funny how it parallels to God’s love for us. We can always start over. No matter how screwed up we are, whether you’re the man sleeping around looking for satisfaction in women, the girl trying to find her worth in men, the cheating husband, the student struggling with drug abuse, the alcoholic, God has the arms wide enough to embrace you. 

I came back to the City this past week on a mission trip with CRU, half underestimating what I could do in a week that could be seen in eternity. Why in the world was I underestimating God’s power? Who was I to even question His ability to work wonders through me? Man, was I wrong. God showed, and he shined. 

Like I said from the get-go, I wasn’t fond of the possibility of coming back to the north anytime in my life. I love it here in the South. I love the weather, the hospitality, the Bible-belt, the Sweet Tea, the Bojangles and the sun. God once again shattered that dream. When I was in the City, my cousin called me up to visit her advertising firm located in SoHo, and gave me an application for a summer internship! Praying that God would allow me to get the internship so I could be in the City that once caused me so much pain, and shine His love to others. I’m also in the midst of filling out my Summer Project Application, which is also in NYC, so God willing, I will be back in the North this summer! Nothing’s in stone yet, but i/m audaciously praying that God would just move and bring me more opportunities. 

"the harvest is plentiful but the laborers are few…" Luke 10:2

The same Spirit that lived within Moses when he parted the sea, lives within us. The same Spirit that lived within Joshua when he witnessed the sun stand still, lives within us. The same Spirit that lived within Elijah when he heard the rain that was coming even while the sky was clear, lives within us. The same Spirit that lived within David when he danced before God despite being in despair, lives within us. The same Spirit that lived within the disciples as they performed miracles in Jesus’ name, lives within us. The same Spirit that lived within Jesus Christ himself, lives within us. 

Why should we think we aren’t capable of amazing things when we have something so amazing living inside of our very being? We have the Holy Spirit inside of us. We are designed to change the world, and that Spirit is here to guide us along the way.